A message to my friends over forty

A message to my friends over forty
Fellow friends over 40 and beyond, I have a quick but important message for you.

Please ignore those 30 under 30 and 40 under 40 lists that come out around this time of year. Of course let’s celebrate the wins of our younger friends. But do not those lists get you down.

Everyone has their own path to success and their own journey to becoming who they are meant to be. I spent my thirties caring for someone I loved who was ill. My husband, Amik, got sick when we were 30 and it resulted in a medical condition we lived with everyday until his death at 38. Sometimes, when I see those lists, I forget that. I forget that most of my energy, if not most of my time, went to him during what they say are your “peak years”. My friend Monique, who is a force, was battling breast cancer in her 30’s. The life lessons and internal growth we experienced is unfortunately not celebrated on a list of any kind. It is up to us to remind ourselves of who we’ve become through our journey.

But what if you haven’t experienced something tragic or dramatic in your life so far? What if your path has just been a zigzag while you try to find your place? You, my one-of-a-kind snowflake, have your own journey to take. Our past shapes us but it doesn’t define us. At any point, we get to decide what we want to do or who we want to be.

So ignore the lists, ignore the people who seem to be so far ahead or seem to have it all figured out. Go within and take stock of what you have been through, what you have navigated in your life so far. Celebrate who you’ve become and what you’ve overcome. And then craft that vision for the future and live in it. It is never too late to choose your own adventure.

Have you ever felt this way after seeing those "under 40" lists? Send me a note at and let's talk about it.

xo, Kena

PS. We are in peak holiday shopping season and we have so many new styles at All You Are. You can check out the navy color way of our signature robe, our new french terry trouser and pullover and our new long hooded robe here! As always, thank you for supporting our small business.